Dads And Daughters With Eating Disorders

I am a just a dad.  I have a 26 year old daughter who has been suffering from Anorexia Nervosa for somewhere between 4 and 6 years.  Maybe even a bit longer.  It’s kind of hard to tell exactly when it started. 

It hasn’t stopped yet.A couple of months ago my daughter’s medical doctor informed her and our family that her electrolytes were so out of whack that if she did not get immediate in-patient treatment she was likely to die…soon.

It scared the hell out of me.

Looking back a few years, I had known she was Anorexic.  All you had to do was look at her. 

But, not knowing exactly what to do to help her, I sort of left it in my ex’s and older daughter’s hands.  I figured they were better equipped to handle Eating Disorders than me.  Denial was my ally.  And I had no idea how serious it was or was going to get.

Just over a year ago I went along with the family to some “family group Eating Disorder therapy.” 

It was a good experience and the most important thing I learned from that month of counseling was that I was even more ignorant about Eating Disorders than I thought…than I could have imagined, actually. 

Plus, for there first time, I began to see how much agony my daughter was in.  It made me very sad.  And very angry that I had let myself be so out of the loop.

So being a “fix-it” guy like many of us dads are, I started doing my research and due diligence to figure out how to fix it.  It had been going on long enough as far as I could see.  No one else seemed to be doing anything constructive, so I figure I should step in and get it solved.

Here’s news for you dads who don’t know this yet.

There is nothing on Earth that you can do to fix it.  Don’t even try.

Frustrating, for sure.  But true.

The most you can do and the best you can do is offer understanding and loving support—plus a little gentle guidance.

There is no place in your daughter’s Eating Disorder for bullying, badgering, or waving your Dad’s magic fix it wand.

I am no expert in any of this.  I am not a doctor, psychologist, psychiatrist, or any other kind of health care professional.  I’m just a dad who now has more experience about Eating Disorders than I want and the willingness to spend some time and energy to share what I am learning (it’s on ongoing process) with other dads. 

When I started trying to figure out the Eating Disorder mystery, I found very few helpful dad specific, practical resources as travelled my journey into my daughter’s Eating Disorder.

So my purpose here is to host a place that is a resource for dads.   We’ll use our Blog, our Forum, and our Website for sharing information, not just from me, but I hope you will participate, too.  Share your stories.  Your experiences.  Your knowledge.  Your failures.  Your successes.  Your feelings.  Your frustrations.  Your inspirations.  All of it. 

And, I also hope to get input and help from professionals who have training and vast experience who will give us dads some useful advice.  

Feel free to comment on any Blog, use the Forum, visit our Website, and/or contact me directly via email at Dexter@Dad-EDs.com.